Rodent update

So I thought I was clever and put out a metal trap with a cookie inside but he ate it, uncaught and no crumbs left behind! I also stuffed a blanket under the crack of the door but he pushed through it, enough so that I could see it was large, gray and fast. Upon seeing me he retreated fortunately and called for me to reinforce my barricade efforts. After that night, my first sighting and the failure with the trap I put out a few more lures and did an obsessive cleaning of my house, searching high and low for any creature or creature gates. That night I did not have any bites. I think he might have left? How, I do not know.
Maybe he's still here... lurking around, playing it quiet until I give up my paranoia. Clever creatures.

Check him out

Some beautiful pictures of Morocco by a talented Moroccan photographer:

http://www.phototechnique.org/

Rodents at night

I woke up last night with the feeling something was sniffing my hair. My room is so dark and quiet that sometimes I cannot tell if it is a dream or if I am awake. I thought maybe it was a ghost, that surprisingly comforted me but then logic slowly rolled in yet I refused to think more deeply into it. I settled on believing it was a puppy and dreamt of that for a while. Then again, something awoke me, I felt it. Something large was on my pillow by my head and what must have been its nose in my hair. I froze for a minute not knowing what to do. What if it bites?
I ran as fast as I could to the light switch and alas, I found nothing. I believe it to be a large rodent and it is taking up the same space as I am. At 4 am I found it nearly impossible to go back to sleep despite my drowsiness. I left the lights on, put on a movie, adorned my head with a thick wool cap and buried myself under my sheets.
What does one do when they find the rat I wonder? Am I supposed to kill it with my bare hands, or gently ask it if it would not mind living outside or in the barn next door. I am not sure if I can sleep soundly until I find the creature. I left a metal rat trap out with a cookie inside but I feel bad if it goes for the trick. The trap looks terrible and inhuman. And then, when I come home and it is in there, possibly still alive how do I free it from the metal jaws and where shall I put it?
Oh dear creature, I wish that you never stumbled into this house for we cannot be together but I must stay.

The Wall

From the summer until this winter I have witnessed development and change from my own window. Some change good, some not so good. I used to have a view of the brook from my living room window but now I have the view of a tall, white obstructive wall. I am not the only one saddened by this addition but so is most of my village. It was an initiative I hear came from the Common Rural who is in charge of the area. People are upset about not only the aesthetics of the wall but also how it inhibits access to the running water that we occasionally need when the water is turned off for days at a time. The brook is used for washing dishes, clothes and collecting water for cleaning purposes. The wall follows the brook throughout the entirety of the village. It is double the high it was originally so that one standing next to it could not peak over the edge. The Common Rural then decided to paint it white, taking away from the natural look of our environment.
Almost every day for the two months work was being done on the wall there were arguments from the village folk who were protesting the wall. To add to the problem the men who had to camp out in front of the wall, in front of my house, appeared to have no respect for the land. They littered all over the place, and desecrated in what is my front lawn. As they were out of towners they also did not know who I was and would stare into my windows if I had them open and comment to me as I entered and left my house.
Aside from my own issues with the project I am most disappointed that none of the locals appeared to have been asked about this new addition. Two young men were also jailed in Meknes for it because they vocally expressed their disgust with the construction project and lack of respect for their land and environment. The wall has taken away the beauty of the visual element of the running brook and even the pleasant sounds of the running water.
People see this as just another example of the corruption in Morocco on the local government level. Many have told me that it is a project that the Common Rural could do so they can say they spent money on a project when in fact they will pocket the majority of the money for themselves. This is not the first time I have heard of things like this happening. In fact, I have heard this story all too much from so many different communities. When people stand up to these issues they get jailed, or put on a black list of sorts. It is your word against the authorities and the people’s word doesn’t mean much of anything. So the wall stays.
It is disappointing because the money could have been used for more practical issues such as the water pipes that have burst and are creating a lake in front of my house, or to finish the children’s center which was started a year and a half ago and hasn’t been worked on since I have been here, or the transportation problem that we have. It is difficult for me to have to remove myself from this issue as we are not and should not be involved in anything political but I need to at least make people aware of this corruption and clear violation of people’s human right of freedom of expression.

Technology Woes

My computer has been malfunctioning the past week. I even had to restart the whole thing and lost some pictures which is a little unsettling. As the loss of anything will, I have been contemplating about what this loss means to me. I am living in the mountains in Africa where people live off less than a dollar a day and I have wireless internet in my house, my Itunes playing at my whim and entertainment in the evening by watching the newest movie I received from swapping with other volunteers.
The days without my computer I felt unproductive, lonely and frustrated. But when I think about how I feel when I have it I also feel I should be out communicating face to face with people here, I feel bombarded by all of the information available at my fingertips. I think that I have become addicted to being connected and entertained by this machine. When it doesn’t work I read more, visit more people, I draw and cook more labor intensive dishes that pay off. Maybe this is a tool that I would do better without. Yet, how would I communicate with you as I am now? I think I need to set computer usage limits because I fear it may become my escape vehicle, inhibiting me from engaging more physically with my immediate environment.

Great Video on Moroccan Youth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avWCeo205b8&feature=player_embedded

Grande Taxis

There are many forms of transportation in Morocco and you usually have a variety of options. Aside from the more long-standing means, such as donkey’s, camels, mules and horses, people also are moving in more modern standard forms such as taxis, private cars, vans, pick-up trucks, bicycles, mo-peds, trains, airplanes and for the backpacking hiker or the Sheppard, by foot.
The vast majority of my transportation experiences have been in taxis and each experience is unique. I pick up taxis out of my hamlet to get into the larger town nearby. I frequently find myself waiting anywhere from 5 -30 minutes for transport. If I am lucky I might just be that last person to fill in the taxi. In general, taxis will not take off unless all seats of the car are filled to maximize efficiency and cost. A 5 mile ride into the larger town costs me 4 dh (.52). Almost all grand taxis in Morocco are old German Mercedes. It is a living testament to German car manufacturing until you look closer and notice that the only part of the car that still seems to be from the original is the body. Seats, steering wheel, mirrors, dashboards, and the like seem to be a smorgasbord of objects found here and there or older things re-acclimated for new purposes. I have seen plastic dish drainers used as replacements for the air filters in the car, bumper stickers on the front window at an attempt to hold together cracked glass and plastic vinyl or possible shower curtain as new interior for the doors. Common themes of the new vinyl interior tend to be leopard print or a vibrant arrangement of tropical fish.
Each taxi is uniquely its own on the inside. On the outside, in my larger taxi town all taxis must be a shade of split pea green. Also common to other towns is the classic white and the occasional bursts of color like burnt barn red or turquoise, however these are far and few between. Some taxis are also more reliable than others. One of my main taxi drivers out of my site has a push start car, meaning you literally get out of the car prior to take off and push it until the engine checks in. Then you hop in and drive into town. On this same car, the way back into the village the travel time can take a whie. As the ride back in is mostly downhill, the driver typically turns off his engine and coasts, slowly back in as not to waste gas. He also would not be aware of how much gas he is using as all of the instruments on his dashboard do not work such as speedometer, gas gauge and the like.
Dashboard decorations are also amusing for the passenger. You can see plastic flower arrangements surrounding the whole front window, little carpets for the dashboard, an assortment of hanging rearview mirror decorations, stickers and family pictures. I have however not seen any bobble heads which I feel would be a great addition to the collection. A whole row of bobble head dolls, each one bouncing in unison. What an entertaining distraction from the open road.
Another typical feature of taxis is the lack of window handle. If you want to roll down you window you should ask the driver for the one handle to attach onto your respective door to roll it down. However, it is important to know that most Moroccans do not generally like to have the windows down in the taxi; this is something you should be conscious of. I find myself however, in the heat of the summer in a packed taxi, with intermittent car sickness to request permission to roll down the windows. This brings me to the next point, the number of passengers per car. As I said earlier taxis generally will not take off unless they are filled to maximum capacity. If you are in a rush you can opt to buy another seat but this can get expensive. An added benefit however is that you can get the front seat to yourself and roll down the window. A typically taxi, at normal capacity will have the driver and two passengers in the front seat. In the back, four people are expected to fit. This does not take into account the size or girth of fellow passengers. It is to be known that on occasion a butt cheek, leg or foot will fall asleep. On shorter trips you should also not be surprised that the driver out of goodness of his heart will let more get into the taxi. An extra passenger can be found to squeeze in on the left side of the driver or if there is a child in the back he or she will be placed on a lap to make more room.
Infant transport is also a concern of mine. As are the lack of seatbelts and road mannerisms. For one, young children are generally tied up onto the mothers back and the mother rides in the taxi with the child still attached to her in this manner. Seatbelts are a joke, your luck if you find one but even if you do, taxis at their passenger quota does not comply with the seatbelt arrangement in the car. Road manners are typically inexistent. Your car will most likely not follow a speed limit. If there is a car in front of yours, expect that your taxi will try to pass it even if he sees there is traffic in the oncoming lane. Occasionally passengers in the taxi will let the driver know if they agree it’s a good time to pass or not. Near death experiences are a possibility however drivers have seen to turn it into an art form.
Driver and passenger relationships are also dynamic. As some people take the same taxi frequently they get to really know their driver and become close friends. There is typically a lot of conversation in rides between strangers as well. Conversations, from what I have been able to grasp due to my language have revolved around the messages of God, town dramas or the price of vegetables at the market.
Music is also a stimulus during your journey. The driver generally has control and will put in his cassette tapes or a CD, whichever deck he has personally inserted into his car. Music choices in my area generally consist of listening to the Koran, Berber high pitched music that I cannot decipher, or select Arabic singers. I often do not hear a variety. I have become accustom to the few songs that I hear. If a driver has the music off, a passenger, typically a young male, will fill in the silent void with his high-tech musical cell phone. These songs are generally more modern and Western. You are likely to hear rappers like 50 cents, Tupac, or club music. If they only knew what the words translated into I wonder if they would still be allowed to play those songs in this country. Either way, I prefer the silence and a front seat to myself with the windows down.

Sometimes there is more truth in that which is not mentioned.

I realize that some of my recent blogs have sounded like they are coming from a dark place, or that my experience here is all struggles. This is not so and I feel I must apologize to my readers. I have many great and wonderful things occur around me from day to day. It just so happens that when I feel I should sit down to write it is typically when I need to do it for therapeutic reasons. My schedule and life here is very busy which is great but I realize that I want to also share that with you, my reader, more of the good, exciting stories. So following this post, that is what will be coming. In between studying for my GRE’s and working on my projects here I will be writing and filling you in on what has happened, my observations, and a few other tidbits I hope you find interesting. So stay tuned, more is to come.
Topics:
Moroccan weddings
Taxis
Summer Camp
Artisan update
Film project
Places I have been
Trip back home
Insects in and around my home
and more…..

Want

The feeling of people always wanting some material good from you and having that run out and then possessing nothing to provide but what’s inside. The exhaustion of want, not need.
Want

A variety of things I have been asked for by children and parents: socks, pens, crayons, markers, money, the exchange of foreign bills such as euro and yen, yogurt, a sharp kitchen knife, old things that I don’t want, jewelry, animal masks, bracelets, my sandals to wear in the city, toothpaste, toothbrushes, soap, American cookies and chocolate, yarn, a bicycle pump, a glass of water, sunglasses, to use my toilet.

I am telling you all of this not because I want you to send me anything but because I need to express how taxed I feel having these things. People come to my door, say the polite hello and then ask me for things. Once I say I don’t have it or it’s all gone the conversation is done and they go their way. I feel used; there is always a catch, someone always wanting a material object from me, and not actually any part of me or who I am. It is a lonely feeling; like I am an old forgotten candy dispenser in a VCR rental shop that if you shake enough maybe something will fall out. But most of the times my candy stash is all out.

As a volunteer I am living as a local. I am sure that I probably have more money at the end of the month then a typical family but I am also living alone, getting charged double for things as a foreigner, not buying a satellite, fancy cell phones or washers. I am not the American I believe many expect me to be. I am not the girl on Orange County, or any MTV program for that matter, nor am I a femme fatale from one of the many American action movies played on TV. I am a young American girl, giving two year of her life to volunteer and live in another country with a stagnant pile of student loans anticipating her arrival at home. I have no home besides that of my parents, I sold my car to pay my bills, currently no money in the bank, not making any for my time here and returning home to an economic crisis some say could be the next great depression, amidst the potential crumbling of our nation to other world leaders such as China.

The extent of this would be difficult to describe to people in my village. I can’t imagine the look on their face when I told them exactly how much in school loans I owe when exchanged into the local currency. But still, I do have opportunity and freedom, plinths of the American dream.

I had a bag of 10 little school kits for the kids; ruler, pencil, sharpener, eraser. I gave them out to the first kids who came to my door asking me for things. (In the thesaurus, things is synonymous with obsession, fixation, mania, craze, entity, phenomenon, gadget) They were gone in two days just as the secret was let out in the classroom. This causes stress as I want but can’t provide for all of the children. Desperation. As soon as one knows something went through my front door the entire village knows and I have children and or parents ardently banging on my metal door at intervals of 5 minutes, calling my name and beating until I come to answer. Children who already had received something even come around a second time, bringing either younger siblings, friends , parents or cousins to see if I can give them one more of whatever it is they are asking for. Then later they come back asking if I have something else to dispense; as if I had just received a new shipment of goods through some secret portal to whole sale America that I have hidden in my house.

In retrospect I know that I do technically have a larger accumulation of material goods but I don’t like to relate to those things. This is not the kind of aid that I am looking to provide to people. I am not here to give them more plastic junk to pollute their ecological and cultural systems. I don’t want to be seen as a free garage sale or aid delivery truck. I want to be seen as a person, one with valuable skills, ideas, warmth. I know most of the time it is just kids asking me for things and they don’t know better but it is exhausting and I am left not knowing what to do. The thing that I fear is that I am now hesitant to have anything to give. If I do, within minutes the throbbing sound of fists on my door will begin, and will not stop until repeatedly telling people that I am sorry, I have nothing to give you, it is all gone.
I have nothing to give you.

Energies

I wanted to share some words of wisdom from my old yoga studio in Franklin. Thank you Kaye for your words of inspiration.

* Glued to the news? Ripping open your retirement statements in a panic? Blaming a spouse for a bad investment? Are you taking your worries out on anyone (this includes yourself)?


Okay, maybe we all need to stomp our feet a few times and scream "It's not fair!" Then what?Are we going to let this economic tremor ruin our entire lives? NO! The way around all of this, is to go through it with grace and a smile. Not a PollyAnna smile, a Mona Lisa smile. The smile of someone who knows a thing or two. We know what is going on but choose to enjoy our day anyway. Choose to enjoy the stunning folliage - go ahead- look out your window. Choose to enjoy a delicious slice of apple pie or just an apple picked in-season. Enjoy your children, your partners, your pets. Enjoy this bit of beautiful sunshine.

Find the blessings in changes. Make cookies with your kids instead of buying them. I have found out recently that many healthier foods are actually cheaper. If you are keeping your thermostat down a few degrees take the opportunity to snuggle with someone you love. Do not let the market or the fear of others shrink who you are. You are an incredible human being with untapped resources. Find the wellspring of new thought, new inspiration and new
life which flows deep within you. Choosing to be optimistic at a time like this is the quickest way to feeling back in control of your own life. Not only that, realistic optimism leads to grounded solutions.

Can't wait to see those Mona Lisa smiles...


* Floods, Banking Crisis, Oil Prices. Oh my.... We certainly aren't in Kansas any more. Fear. Doubt. Uncertainty. The analogy of the yellow brick road in the movie Wizard of Oz is perfectly applicable during times such as these. Like the Lion we could all benefit from shifting our focus from fear to courage; like the Scarecrow we all need to trust that we have the mind to take us through this adventure; and, it our hearts which will lead us to a better feeling solution. If we allow our hearts to freeze up with fear and doubt, anxiety will motivate our choices and we will only be chasing our tails.

Anxiety is often the result of amped up energy. The good news is, this energy is harnessable. You do not need to tread water waiting for waves to crash into you time and time again. Instead grab your boogie board or surf board and ride those waves. The idea is to get on top of the energy and use it to make those leaps of faith you've been desiring. 'How can I do that?' The answer is to simply allow the anxiety to flow through your body. Close your eyes and bring your attention to your spine at the place where you feel the anxiety. Now visualize opening your spine and letting the energy out. Relax, breathe and let it flow.

Utilize this energy to facilitate change in any area of your life, relationships, career...